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Crikey! VIOLENCE IN THE CITY! On the way in to work this morning I popped into the post office to send off a few CDs, and two people behind me in the queue was a bloke talking VERY loudly on his mobile phone (like how people used to when it was something to show off about) to his daughter, wishing her well at school. This wasn't me eavesdropping, by the way, the whole queue and SHOP knew all about it. In front of HIM was an Intense Faced Looney who kept making REMARKS about the conversation, as they are WONT to do when in Post Office Queues. Soon he was shouting "Please keep your conversation to yourself! I was well brought up!" in that OTHER way Post Office Queue Loonies do i.e. LOUDLY, intensely, not looking at the person they're shouting out, with a SMIRK on their face as if they are speaking for everyone.

The Loud Phone Guy then started shouting ABUSE at him, and then HIT him!! A SCUFFLE ensued and RACIST ABUSE started flying! I was by now at the counter, so turned round and started doing the "hey hey! Calm down!" thing that one is DUTY BOUND to do, whilst the Post Office Lady told them BOTH off. She was just remarking that the Post Office Queue Looney was one of their regulars, when they started AGAIN, with Loud Phone Guy getting more and more objectionable and violent (this after he'd just been speaking to his infant child...) and LOONEY continuing to be a LOONEY. I turned round to tell them BOTH off again - FISTS were being used! - and other people in the queue ROUNDED on the Loud Phone Guy and it all got A BIT MUCH.

I said "You are BOTH being arseholes, now just calm down!" and HANDILY Post Office Lady had dealt with this kind of thing before and told them they wouldn't EITHER of them get served if they didn't stop it, and then we both pretended all was NORMAL. Crikey tho, i got me the SHAKES and the walk into work was one of INTERNAL DEBATE: who's most at fault? Loud Mouthed Racist Phone Guy or Obnoxious Post Office Queue Looney?

Harry Hill, i feel, may have had the answer...

posted 25/4/2007 by MJ Hibbett

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