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Blog: Olympic Feats

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After staying up until 3am BOOZING the night before I was up until 4am on the final night of the tour due to TOOTH and related EARACHE. OW! It really hurt! This was especially galling as I had to be up at 7:30am in order to catch my train home, which meant that when I finally DID get home I was KNACKERED. What I really needed now was a nice calm weekend of relaxation. Instead I embarked upon a ROLLERCOASTER RIDE of ACTION!

The first part of this was a trip to the VELODROME, where we were booked to go CYCLING round the road track to celebrate The Landlady's birthday. I thought this was going to be a delightful potter around a quiet path for an hour, but it WAS NOT. The Velodrome appears to be JUST as organised as ALL sporting venues i.e. Not Very At All (I stick to my theory that all Sporting Venues are run by PE Teachers, and are thus CHAOTIC) as we had to go back and forth down a long corridor 200 times to get IN, get bikes, get helmets, and then get a "release form" for our under-18 group member. When we got ON the bikes it then turned into a PE lesson, with a man giving us very fast and complicated instructions for how to operate our very fast and complicated bicycles. Get this: I didn't really listen and only used the back wheel gears - apparently you can use them on the front wheel too nowadays IF YOU ARE A SQUARE. I was a REBEL! HA!

There was a LOT of huffing and puffing and ARSE ACHE and struggling up hills and general BIKE RIDING. I haven't been on a bike for about 20 years and it is true that you don't forget how to ride one, but it is also true that you don't forget quite how unpleasant it can be. SLOGGING round the course I thought "Can't i just walk instead?" It DONE ME IN!

After our hour was finished we staggered out, jelly legged, and went to have some LUNCH, before myself and The Seat On My Bike went and did a bit of SHOPPING. This has become a bit of a post-Rock Ritual for us. A couple of weeks ago we went to do a gig in bath BATH, had curry and beer, then came home and bought a TOWEL. Last week we went on a POLITICAL DEMO then had SCONES. This week I came off tour and we went and bought BEDDING. Then we went to Waitrose, then we went to the PUB - that sound you hear is THE MAN, WEEPING because he is unable to comprehend.

On SUNDAY we were out and about yet again - the Queen's Baton Relay was coming through the Olympic Park on its way to the Commonwealth Games, so we thought we'd go and have a look. It took a while to find, as there was no indication ANYWHERE where it would be or when, but eventually we tracked it down by the simple expedient of wandering around EVERYWHERE. We spotted a group of people, many in the same t-shirt, walking slowly behind a golf buggy with a policeman nearby. "That'll be it!" we said, picked up our beers (it was SUCH Holiday Weather that NOT having a Holiday Beer would have been rude) and followed them... and soon found ourselves PART of the procession. It was DELIGHTFUL - when the Olympic Torch had come through London there were huge crowd, loads of massive vehicles blasting out music and sponsorship, tons of police, and a fiercely regulated parade. Here there were, as I said, some people in similar t-shirts and a bobby, all following a golf buggy. We stood around and watched the baton being passed and then strode home, VERY happy with our experience.

And THEN i went into town to meet TWO batches of pals - Mr & Mrs FA Machine, who'd been down to London for a wedding, and Dr Neil and Ms C Tornbohm, my long-term CHUMS and erstwhile housemates, who'd met up slightly earlier. It turned into a rather MARVELLOUS couple of hours of chat, during which it emerged that not only did Cathy and Frankie come from the same area, but they'd been to the same SCHOOL (Frankie in the same class as Cathy's brother!) and when Cathy's family had left the area Frankie had taught TRUMPET to the child of the family who moved into their house! It was SPOOKY!

It was also a much needed FINALE to a very very very long weekend. I was looking forward to having a massive lie-in next day, but alas i needed to go in to work. WORK! UGH!

posted 11/6/2014 by MJ Hibbett

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