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Blog: A Farewell To Ales

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It's continued to be ALL GO with me and my INFECTED KNEE this week. I've been round so many departments of UCL Hospital, showing off my knee, that I think the medical staff members who have NOT seen my pants are probably in the minority. Still, I now know I don't have Diabetes, OR an abscess, and have managed to avoid various nights in hospital and, best of all, am now very much On The Mend. It really has been QUITE A Thing though!

It's also given pause for thought and, of course, for SYMPTOM GOOGLING, and I have come to several Startling Conclusions. Apparently my cellulitis of the knee was probably caused by Athlete's Foot (I've got a CREAM!) which, to cut a long and not entirely savoury story mercifully short, led me to think that the fact I get cellutlits three or four times a year means I might have issues with YEAST and possibly CANDIDA. I got some of this confirmed during one of my many hospital visits, which was actually rather BRILLIANT as it looks like a whole HECKLOAD of things that are wrong with me, many of which I thought were either "normal", "being a bit tired" or "part of being middle-aged" could ACTUALLY be down to an imbalance in my GUT FLORA and, if I can manage to get THAT sorted out, I will (as far as I understand it) become a super slim living dynamo of fitness and shimmering health. And all I have to do, once I've finished all the various pills and lotions, is to try and eliminate food and drink that contains a lot of yeast and/or sugar. WOT could be simpler eh? I mean, it's not like any of my favourite things contain either or both of THOSE is it? Is it?

Obviously yes, it is. It is thus after heavy contemplation and thought, that I have decided to DRASTICALLY reduce my intake of BREAD and ELIMINATE my useage of REAL ALE. I have told a few people this and, to my surprise, nobody has seemed surprised or alarmed by this conclusion, or afeared of the consequences. As The Liquid In My Glass pointed out, "You have, after all, probably had your fair share of Real Ale." I think she might be right. I think I might actually have had SEVERAL people's fair share of Real Ale.

So that's the plan - if, over the summer, you see someone who LOOKS like me but is shinier, slimmer, a BLUR of activity, and drinking a Filtered Lager, do not be afraid. It is NOT my twin from The Milliverse, it is me myself. Wish me luck!

posted 25/5/2017 by MJ Hibbett

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