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Blog Archive: October 2020A Trip To The Pub
It was a BUSY old day for me on Wednesday. It started with a TEAM MEETING at work, and then I had to go over to Homerton Hospital for a CT scan to have a look at my SINUSES. I was expecting this to be a bit of a palaver but instead it was alarmingly pedestrian, as I went in, waited ten minutes, went into another room, lay down for five minutes on a BIG MACHINE, and then left. Hardly anybody spoke to me and I didn't even have to take any clothes off!
In the afternoon I went to a presentation about a system (I say "went to", I mean of course "sat on a Zoom meeting for") and then to a VERY interesting Keynote Speech by Professor Mick Grierson who is in charge of UAL's Creative Computing Institute. The talk was DEAD good, but at the end the questions were all a bit Arts Lecturers Who Don't Understand Computers - it was like going to a Fine Art talk and all the questions being "Do you have to make the paintbrushes yourself" - so I asked him whether the original b3ta board people were PUNK ROCK OUTSIDERS or a legitimate part of ART HISTORY and he seemed DELIGHTED to say "BOTH". Excellent!
After a day like that I could have done with a trip to the pub, and luckily that is EXACTLY what I had lined up for LO! The Pattisons were not only in town, but also in a pub just round the corner from my house. They were staying in a hotel for a couple of nights as part of their usual Family Half-Term Trip and were over in Leyton at a pub ably selected by Ms K Kennedy. It was The Leyton Star, and I was MOST impressed by their Covid Precautions, including an ORDERING App that actually worked - although many of us present had to call upon the help of Miss L Pattison, Designated Teenager, to show us how to use it.
We were sat out the back in the outside "terrace" area, which felt very FRESH and SAFE, also not too cold due to the HEATERS they had put up. It all felt surprisingly normal, and very quickly we were all SWEARING AWAY and slagging off the government just as we had been the last time we met, just before all this started. It was a LOVELY evening, with only TWO (2) minor stains. The first was that I got confused about which route The Pattisons were taking back to their hotel near Hampstead Heath, and loudly corrected everyone, saying that "The GOBLIN" was another line when of course it WAS the route they were taking (I still feel bad about this, it is the CARDINAL SIN for someone who lives in London to make this sort of error). The second low note was that BEER has clearly been changed since all this began. I imagine it is similar to the way that IPA used to FERMENT on the way back from India, because I only had a few pints but felt QUITE TIDDLY at the end, and can only assume that draught beer has been made MUCH STRONGER over the past seven months. There should have been a warning!
posted 23/10/2020 by MJ Hibbett
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Afternoon In The Museum
On Saturday I made a foray into London Town which, once again, did not look quite as much like "28 Days Later" as one might expect. It was quiet, but then Bloomsbury on a Saturday afternoon (for that is where I were) is ALWAYS quiet, and there was a marked lack of windswept rubbish or zombies.
I had booked myself a slot for a visit to The British Museum, as The Items In My Exhibition had been a few weeks previously and HIGHLY recoemmended it. I got there 3 minutes early for my slot, and was told very politely to wait outside the gates, but when I did get in I found that the whole place had been set up in a one way system, so everybody walked around the same exhibits rather being able to dash about willy nilly. This made it a bit like going for a Big Shop in Tesco, as you saw the same people all the time while you strolled through, so it felt like there were only about 10 of you there all going round together.
I know my Museum Visiting Priorities, and so my FIRST stop was the loo, my SECOND was the bookshop (where I bought a book which is basically "Philosphy For Dummies" which is something I've been after for AGES) and my THIRD was the cafe for a cup of coffee and a sandwich. With all that done I was ready to start the strollalong, which began with The Egyptians. COR! The Egyptians is a HECK of a place to start, and as ever I could feel my MIND BOGGLING at the idea that there were statues here that had been put up FOUR AND A HALF THOUSAND BLOODY YEARS AGO!! ZOINKS!
I worked next door to the British Museum for YEARS and popped in MANY time so thought I'd been everywhere, but it turns out, thanks to the one-way system, that I had not! There were loads of new-to-me sections, and whilst wandering through I was struck by the sight of exhibits in gloomy corners which were ANCIENT and probably PRICELESS but were likely not looked at by many people at all. I made sure to go and give them a good LOOK to make up for it!
After the Egyptians it was some VASES, which were a bit underwhelming at first after all that but then I got to a sign about the people who'd made them. It turns out that some of the names of Ancient Greek Potters are well known because they'd signed them. This ALSO always blows my mind - it's like Vindolanda, the Roman fort on Hadrian's Wall where we know HUGE amounts about the people who lived there thanks to discarded notes that got chucked down the toilet. These soldiers, and the Greek potters, were ordinary people who happened to get immortalised, whilst all the bosses and officials' names were lost. Who knows what of us will be left two to four thousand years from now eh?
(APOLOGIES IF I AM BLOWING YOUR MIND)
Next on the route was The Parthenon Sculptures, which I always find is a bit of an UNEASY visit as a) it's all amazing but b) it's TOTALLY NICKED. The British Museum is doing stuff about decolonisation and where the collection comes from, with information boards every so often which tells you how they got hold of things. It's all done very politely but never actually says out loud "THIS IS ALL NICKED". This was especially notable when I got round to the Easter Island Head, who is one of my favourite exhibits. He's now got some offerings in front of him from the people of Rapa Nui (which is the proper name for Easter Island, GET WITH IT) who want to take him home. "Discussions are ongoing" says the official text, although the case to keep him in the UK is not helped AT ALL by the preceding description of how he came to be here in the first place i.e. a bunch of sailors rolled up with ropes AND NICKED IT.
The statue appears in my BOOK what I wrote, and I was reminded about this towards the end of the route as I walked through the "Enlightenment" section, which is a huge LIBRARY along the East side of the building. It would have been the perfect place for one of the BIG CHASES in that story, but I'd forgotten it was there. Next time I do a re-write I'll have to shoehorn it in!
I must admit I did miss quite a LOT of stuff in the second half of the walk because my BRANE was DONE IN by it all, but I did also see some ART. There's a Grayson Perry installation called The Tomb Of The Unknwon Craftsman which was a Lovely Idea, as it's dedicated to the people who actually MADE all the stuff in the musuem whose names we DON'T know, and Edmund De Waal's Library of Exile, which is a small room with some books in it. You were invited to sign a book that meant something to you, which I did, but it wasn't quite as moving as the G Perry one.
After all THAT I staggered out blinking into the fresh air and headed to the WHISKY shop for some retail therapy. It had been a GRATE trip but crumbs, I think I'm going to need to go again to try and fit the rest of it into my poor old BRANE!
posted 20/10/2020 by MJ Hibbett
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A Conference In Germany (in my flat)
I had a couple of days off work at the end of last week to go to a conference in Germany. Now, obviously, in The Current Situation, when I say I went to a conference in Germany what I mean is that the CONFERENCE was in Germany, but I myself was sat with a laptop in my flat. It was a shame not to go to Actual Germany, especially as it was in Tuebingen where I had such a great time back in 2018, but at least I avoided the enormous travel delays I had then - no amount of wind or snow was going to stop me moving between my desk and the kettle!
The main theme of the conference was AGENCY which, as everyone (who has spent three days listening to other people talk about it and has looked it up 17 times before they actually remember) knows, is the ability to effect CHANGE. For instance, talks on Fan Agency were about the power that comics fans have to make comics publishers change things like storylines or the series they produce. There was a LOT of interesting stuff in there, and I especially enjoyed a KEYNOTE by Henry Jenkins about... well, STUFF. He was talking about STUFF being the objects we choose to have around us, and how this works with comics, both in terms of collecting and the comics we hold onto or display, and WITHIN comics themselves, where objects are placed in the panel to illustrate something about the characters.
My own presentation was on the Saturday morning, and was about neither STUFF nor Agency. It was, as ever, about DOCTOR DOOM, and came as part of an "Open Forum" where people talked about their research in general. I did a SOMEWHAT DENSE twenty minutes about my PhD research so far, including SAMPLING and the SURVEY what I did, and even some of the early results. I was a bit nervous beforehand as the meeting was full of MEGA-BRAINS who really KNOW about this sort of thing, but it all went really well - there were LOADS of comments in the chat, lots of questions at the end, and I even managed to ANSWER most of them. I was particularly proud of myself because when I DIDN'T know the answer I managed to say sensible things like "I don't know" or "That is a good point" rather than floundering around making stuff up. As we know from The Current Situation and Our Useless Government, it is very easy to do this the wrong way round!
I came out of the whole experience full of RELIEF, and though I did miss the bit afterwards where you wander round the coffee area hoping somebody will say "That was really interesting", I was extremely glad that I didn't have to have a bus ride, a two hour wait in an airport, a plane journey, another wait by a conveyor belt and then a lengthy tube journey before I could get to our fridge at home and open a beer afterwards!
posted 14/10/2020 by MJ Hibbett
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Away from the promotional whirligig of the new single promotion I have managed to actually get out and about a bit over the past week or so, including a recent trip to BLOOMSBURY.
Bloomsbury is one of my favourite bits of That London - I worked round there for YEARS and love how HANDY it is for everything, and how friendly the whole area feels. I work around Kings Cross now which is super handy for my commute but not really for anything else, and also does not have a lot of STUFF in it. THUS it was lovely to stroll through my old HOOD and wander past the PUBS and SHOPS and NATIONAL MUSEUMS and so forth that make it such a fun place to lurk around in.
This time I was there for none of the above. Instead I was there to GIVE of myself, in a quite literal sense, at a BLOOD DONATION session. I haven't done this for AGES - before Lockdown I was going for weekly ACUPUNCTURE appointments which a) were v interesting and useful but b) meant I couldn't give blood for at least six months after it'd finished. This latter was disappointing as I LIKE giving blood - I have been doing it for ACTUAL DECADES and you always come out feeling as if you have done A Good Thing, and also there are FREE BISCUITS.
The only DRAG about it is that the nearest donor centre to me is a RIGHT old hike away, so I was DELIGHTED to discover that they had a new "pop-up" clinic in the Bloomsbury Hotel, right in the middle of the aforementioned Bloomsbury. I thus rolled up after work last week to find I'd arrived on only their second day of opening. It was very different from the permanent centre I usually go to, but also made me nostalgic for the sort of place I used to go to approx 1,000,000 years ago back in Leicester when I first started. The pop-up was in the basement of the hotel, in I guess their HALL venue as it looked very much like a school or church hall, except with MIRRORS on one of the walls. There were plastic chairs (spaced apart appropriately) and medical screens to create consultancy areas, and a general air of people MAKING DO and getting used to things.
There were also not many DONORS about, which meant that I'd only got halfway through my FREE ORANGE SQUASH when I got called and taken through to have my THUMB PRICKED to test (I think) my iron levels. Usually this is all fine, but this time the chap doing it wasn't sure, so did a SECOND test just to be certain. As we went through the processes there were quite a few points where he re-checked, and I soon learnt that this was because he was NEW to the job. It turned out that he was a former member of AIR CREW (what crusty old grandads would call an "Air Hostess/Host" but I definitely don't) who had RETRAINED to help the NHS. I found this VERY EXCITING as I'd seen it on the NEWS and he was very happy to tell me all about it, which was lovely. He pointed at all of his former colleagues around the room - "Virgin, BA, Virgin..." - and looking round I thought "OH YEAH!" for LO! once you knew they totally LOOKED like Air Crew, in that they had a POISE and PATIENCE that was different yet COMPLIMENTARY to the BUSINESSLIKE GOOD HUMOUR that the NHS staff tend to have. The different groups seemed to have mixed together in a DELIGHTFUL way, and I didn't even mind that he kept saying things like "I've only been training for three weeks" and "I hope I do this right" whilst wielding a ruddy great needle in my general direction.
It all went FINE, and I was very happy to be back at it, although I did note that a recent tendency of mine had become more striking since I last mixed with other people i.e. the whole experience made me become TERRIFYINGLY AVUNCULAR. I am by nature a very SHY person in my non-International Rock Star life - in my teens and twenties I had no idea whatsoever how to interact with other people, but as I've settled into my late, later, and EVEN LATER thirties (hem hem) I have gradually turned into one of those OLD BOYS you get who will make CHEEKY REMARKS and generally be a delight to all and sundry. For instance, when another member of former air crew said "It's very strange to be here doing this - usually I'd be serving you a Gin'n'Tonic" I could not STOP myself from syaing "Well don't let me stop you!!!" EXACTLY like one of those dreadful grown-ups I remember from childhood who were never more than five seconds from asking you if you'd got a girlfriend. I never understood why they kept making JOKES all the time or GRINNING at me, but now I know it is because it is FUN!
It was all SO delightful that when I finally left the building I had to have a good old chuckle to myself and calm down by going to The Posh Whisky Shop around the corner, where GIGGLING is not allowed and the closest you get to social interaction is a barely perceptible NOD when you get something they approve of. It was lovely to be back there too!
posted 13/10/2020 by MJ Hibbett
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We've Got A New Video For Launch Day!
Today is DIGITAL LAUNCH day for I Don't Have To Worry About That (yes I know this is approx the 17th launch day we've had, but this is the LAST one, honest!) which means you can now get it on Apple Music, Spotify, Amazon and pretty much ANYWHERE that does streaming music, as well as on Bandcamp or directly from us as a BADGE.
It also means that today is the day that we UNLEASH our Promotional Video Clip, which is the rather delightful epic you see before you HERE:
This was made by asking people on our mailing list to send us clips of themselves writing out lines of lyrics from the song, and then me sticking it all together to create the rather JOYOUS item you see above. As ever with these things, any help anybody can give by retweetng, sharing, or mentioning to people at the bus stop (from a safe distance) would be hugely appreciated, but mostly I just hope you enjoy the video. I think it is GRATE!
posted 12/10/2020 by MJ Hibbett
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After our previous looks at charts for digital sales and spotify plays, today we're bringing the CAPITALISM CATCH-UP to an end with a look at good old-fashioned PHYSICAL sales. This information comes from my own DATABASE OF ROCK where I record (or at least do my best to record) all the sales that we're involved in ourselves. That basically means sales at gigs or via our online shop, but that comes with SEVERAL important caveats. Firstly, I only began doing this in 2003, so any sales earlier than that aren't included. Secondly, I've been a bit variable about including digital sales, and finally the fact that lots of sales were done at gigs and then added to the database some time later means that my memories of what was sold may sometimes have been even more variable. These last two items only change the overall SALES of each item, rather than the actual order they appear in, so for that reason AND THAT REASON ONLY I have not included the actual sales figures. Just assume they are all #various degrees of PLATINUM HITS and you won't go far wrong.
With that in mind, here's the chart!
The winner, WE VALIDATE! , is FAR ahead of everything else for various reasons. Obviously it was our big HIT, with radio play and all that, and we also TOURED it a lot more. This was done when people were still very much listening to music on CD too, so all that combined (plus the fact that I got LOADS made so still have some to sell years later!) is why it did so well. Regardez, Ecoutez et Repetez is also up there for similar reasons, but having said all that Say It With Words might well have beaten both of them if I'd started recording the DATA earlier. In fact, it almost definitely would!
- WE VALIDATE!
- Regardez, Ecoutez et Repetez
- Say It With Words
- Warriors Of Nanpantan
- Dinosaur Planet
- Forest Moon Of Enderby
- Shed Anthems
- This Is Not A Library
- Still Valid
- The Uberset
- The Lesson Of the Smiths/The Gay Train
- Milk & Baubles
- It Only Works Because You're Here/My Exciting Life In ROCK
- Do The Indie Kid
- Hey Hey 16K T-Shirt
- Better Things To Do
- Dinosaur Planet T-Shirt
- A Million Ukeleles
- Wonderful Wednesday
- My Boss Was In An indie Band Once
Moving down the list, I'm DELIGHTED to see Dinosaur Planet at number 5 - we didn't do as much touring for this one, and I think we've thought of it as a bit of a sales flop after our previous GOLD DISCS, so it's lovely to realise that actually we DID shift quite a lot of SCI FI UNITS. We also sold quite a few Dinosaur Planet T-Shirts, it seems, which pleases me no end.
That brings us on to another issue here - we are SO INDIE that a lot of our stuff is LIMITED EDITION. I mean, technically speaking, it's ALL limited edition because we've never gone to re-press on ANYTHING. This is because we are DEAD COOL and HIP, and not at all because we've never needed to - actually, that's sort of true, as we sold out of This Is Not A Library YEARS ago and so could theoretically have sold more, but my DELIGHT in finally clearing some storage space at the time was so great that I REALLY did not want to re-stock. Similarly I was so pleased to finally get rid of the last Hey Hey 16K T-Shirt that I resolved not to do anymore - these days you can do Print On Demand, which is ACE, but back then you had to pre-order ALL the shirts you wanted, and predicting which SIZES you'd need was a LIVING NIGHTMARE. Also, it was a right pain having to lug five different sizes around with you to gigs! Other stuff was INTENTIONALLY limited - A Million Ukeleles and Wonderful Wednesday here were only ever meant to be limited releases, phsyically at least, although they're VERY MUCH still available to buy digitally.
And that's pretty much all I've got to say about SALES for this week. I hope it's been of interest - I find it all ENDLESSLY FASCINATING how this all works, and I wish more people in our MILLIEU would discuss it. Decades ago it would have been impossible to do so as sales had to be done through THE MAN, but now that we, The Artistes, do most of this work ourselves we are free to MINE the data. We're also free to SHARE it, yet people rarely do. I guess part of it is not wanting to seem CRASSLY MATERIALISTIC (but I think I've shown pretty conclusively that it's possible to do this without appearing that way, right punters?), but from conversations I've had over the years there's also a nervous competitiveness. Nobody wants to reveal that they've only sold 3 copies of their album, say, nor to appear triumphalist if they've sold something crazy like 11. I think this is a shame - TALKING SHOP like this can inform and educate us ALL and prevent THE MAN from taking over again!
posted 8/10/2020 by MJ Hibbett
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The Spotify Rundown
After yesterday's Digital Sales THRILLFEST today we're having a look at Spotify plays. This includes the vast majority of our OUVRE, with only limited edition things like All Around My House or the various multimedia extras not appearing because I never got round to uploading them to this site. With that in mind, let's see what THE KIDZ have been listening to shall we?
Interestingly (no, it IS interesting) some of the same surprise entries as yesterday pop up, with Last Christmas (in the EU) way up near the top, and We're Old And We're Tired (And We Want to Go Home) performing well again. It's also abundantly clear which are THE HITS, with most of the Top 10 being songs we tend to perform live anyway, although it's also worth NOTING that the main reason The Fight For History is so high up is because it's on several Thatcher-related playlists. Everyone always goes on about Spotify Playlists as being the modern equivalent to radio plays, and that seems to be the case here.
- The Lesson Of The Smiths
- The Fight For History
- Hey Hey 16K
- The Gay Train
- Last Christmas (in the EU)
- It Only Works Because You're Here
- Do The Indie Kid
- Work's All Right (If It's A Proper Job)
- We're Old And We're Tired (And We Want to Go Home)
- Never Going Back To Aldi's
- Hey Hey 64k
- You're a Tory Now
- The Symbol Of Our Nation
- Other Bands' Setlists
- Norwich Central Police Station
- We Only Ever Meet In Church - Acoustic Version
- We Are The Dinosaurs
- A Little Bit
- Theme From Dinosaur Planet
- 20 Things to Do Before You're 30
A bit further down, however, there are some RIGHT oddities. I can understand Hey Hey 64k doing well because it would have similar listeners to Hey Hey 16k, but what on EARTH is Never Going Back To Aldi's doing there? Is it just because it was the b-side to the single version of The Lesson Of The Smiths? I guess that would explain the presence of Other Bands' Setlists too. Actually, Hey Hey 64k is on that EP too so that must be it - who knew that people listened to full EPs on these things? NOT ME!
The REALLY weird aspect of this chart though is that the most listened-to track from Dinosaur Planet is Norwich Central Police Station! What the?!? If it was the first track I could understand it, but it isn't, and it's a talking section between songs too - is Spotify packed full of J Lockyer, S Hewitt and P Wilson fans who wish to re-enjoy their dramatic output? I mean, that's an entirely sensible thing to do, but otherwise I have no explanation!
I must say I'm rather glad I've done this VITAL RESEARCH - I didn't realise that EPs could be such a THING on Spotify, and it's suddenly given me some things to think about before we launch the EPIC CAMPAIGN for the new single next week. Before then though we're going to look at some good old fashioned Physical Sales Charts - get ready to say "Oh! So the early stuff really IS more popular than the new" again!
posted 7/10/2020 by MJ Hibbett
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The Chart Show
With our new single I Don't Have To Worry About That out on streaming services a week today (and available RIGHT NOW as a badge) the thoughts of myself and The Validators naturally turn to THE CHARTS. How high will get in the midweeks? Will we break the Top Ten on our first week of release or will it be A Climber? Do we wait for the call from Top Of The Pops, or accept a slot on The Tube or possibly Razzamatazz?
Whilst we all ponder these vital questions, I thought it might be nice this week to have a look back at some other charts, and see what our most popular OUTPUTS have been up until now. This thought arises mostly because I realised that both Emubands and Bandcamp CAN do this, but also because I thought it might be Quite Interesting. Let's see shall we?
We'll start off with DIGITAL sales today, which we currently do through Emubands The data from Emubands covers NEARLY all of our downloads through streaming and digital services, including iTunes, Spotify, and all of that sort of thing. A big qualifier here is that I only started using Emubands around the time of A Million Ukeleles so some of our earlier (who said "more popular"??) stuff isn't represented here. That was all done through the lovely people at CDBaby, but there site has been having errors for the past couple of days so I'll have to leave that for another time.
Anyway, with that in mind, here's our Top Ten in sales of recent-ish tracks via digital services :
There's quite a few surprises in here - who would guess that Do The Indie Kid would be the chart-topper, for instance? It's at both number one AND number two because there's an album and a single version, proving once and for all that digital sales and physical product sales don't really have much to do with each other!
I'm always happy to see It Only Works Because You're Here up near the top as it is officially My Favourite, and I'm also EXTREMELTY pleased to see Last Christmas (in the EU) doing so well, especially as it only came out comparitively recently. My only sadness is that it was not quite so successful in keeping us IN!
The rest of the chart seems fairly comprehensible - as I say, THE HITS like Hey Hey 16K and The Lesson Of The Smiths are absent because they were done by CDBaby - but I can't help wondering what on EARTH We're Old And We're Tired (And We Want to Go Home) is doing in the Top Ten?!? I mean, I like it as a song, but it's never exactly been a Live Favourite or much requested. Perhaps, unbeknownst to me, it has generated its own DANCE CRAZE on The Tick Tock or whatever? I will choose to believe this until proven otherwise!
I hope that's been of some interest - if I can HACK INTO the CDBaby systems tomorrow I'll have a look at what's in there, otherwise we're off to look at what's what on Spotify!
posted 6/10/2020 by MJ Hibbett
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I Don't Have To Worry About Bandcamp
As promised earlier this week, today we're releasing our new single I Don't Have To Worry About That exclusively on Bandcamp for Fees Free Friday. That means that ALL the money people pay for it goes directly to US to spend on... um... probably some more recording sessions.
It's a great deal from the lovely Bandcamp people, who have always been EXCELLENT through the many years we've been releasing stuff through them. INDEED, it is through their generosity that we're also able to release the single as a BADGE (which you can order directly from us now too). Each badge has a download sticker on the back, and those very downloads are provided by Bandcamp, free of charge to us. That's pretty great of them, isn't it?
The single isn't out on the other streaming services until Monday 12 October, but that version will only have TWO songs on it - I Don't Have To Worry About That and Cheer Up Love. The bandcamp and badge versions also feature two COVER VERSIONS - House Of Fun by Madness and Songs About You by Language Of Flowers (who I discovered this week are JUST "Language Of Flowers" and not "THE Language Of Flowers" as I've called them for years).
The Madness track was recorded for a French compilation album who, it seems, wanted EXACT copies of all the tracks by Proper Ska Bands. We thus ended up putting it on the b-side of the CD single for My Boss Was In An Indie Band Once many years ago, which was not SHALL WE SAY one of our biggest sellers, so we thought it deserved a bigger audience. Similarly the Language Of Flowers song was done for a compilation called Covered At Christmas where various bands who'd played the old POP ART shows covered songs by OTHER bands who'd played them. It doesn't seem to be available any more so, again, we thought it deserved to be heard by a few more people. I LOVE the original song, and I've always been chuffed with our version - one of our best covers I reckon!
As I say, the version of the single that's coming out on the other streaming services on Monday 12 October won't have the cover versions, so if you're thinking of getting a copy of this single (and why wouldn't you be?!?) I would HEARTILY recommend either the Bandcamp or the BADGE versions - especially the badge, I mean, it's a flipping BADGE!
posted 2/10/2020 by MJ Hibbett
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An Artists Against Success Presentation