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Songs: Bonkers For Conkers

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After hours beneath the boughs
Of the chestnut tree
A man stands hand in hand with nature
Working in harmony
A drill, a string, a practice swing
And he's fully prepared
To take part in a tournament
That's fought wherever there are

We're bonkers for conkers
The finest game that ever has been played
We're bonkers for conkers
The great achievement of the human race

A steady hand, a wary eye
A swing that's bold and true
You'll find in time your none-er
Will become a one or two-er
In order to progress it must
Accomplish many feats
It will be crowned the champion
If no-one else can beat

Your conker
We're bonkers for conkers
Played in the arena or within the home
We're bonkers for conkers
The best thing human kind has ever known

But please don't bake them
That makes you a cheat
Nor should you roast them
Unless you want to eat

Your conkers
We're bonkers for conkers
We wish it could be autumn every day
We're bonkers for conkers
Come get your conkers out and let's all play

Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing

This one was written especially for Mr Bob Fischer's programme on BBC Tees, Gobstopper. He does a regular feature around October each year where people play conkers, so asked me if I could write him a theme tune. So I did!

It was written during late July 2008 but not recorded until mid-August, when I got back from the Edinburgh Fringe. After MONTHS of playing the same eleven songs at most gigs it was a LIBERATION to suddenly be able to do something different, which is probably why I went a bit overboard and recorded twelve tracks of backing vocals, each in slightly different accents!

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