Tales From The Conference League : Cover Versions

next>

The other night I played a gig where, for once, it wasn't just the fact that I was playing that stopped people from coming. In a University town at the end of July everybody who wasn't back at The Ancestral Pile was either outside enjoying the sunshine or inside watching Brazil wallop Japan.

This included several of the bands themselves, so we ended up starting a bit late while the first band on turned their soundcheck into a bit of an unplugged singalong. They were ANNOYINGLY GOOD at INSTRUMENTS and so were able to take requests for ANYTHING ("Smack My Bitch Up" included) and turn it into a lovely slice of slightly jazzy summery pop. It was gorgeous.

Unfortunately, to quote Gary Barlow, EVERYTHING CHANGED. When the evening officially began they stood up, plugged in, and launched into a 40 minute set of their own material which was over-fiddly, over-long and overwrought. Choruses disappeared, WAILING entered the frey, and the easy chat with pals turned into "How are you all doing tonight?" despite the fact that they were well aware of the mental and physical wellbeing of every person there. It was awfully disappointing.

Another evening I did a gig with one of those bands about whom everybody always says "They've got some great Pop Tunes". Usually this is the Indie Band Equivalent of "She's got Lovely Hair", but this time it was ACTUALLY TRUE. If not for the band's curmudgeonly faces and barely concealed contempt for the human race you could have imagined the whole nation singing along whilst riding bicycles, eating strawberries and sharing a joke with kindly Mr Bluebird as the evening sun finally dips behind the trees. All at the same time.

It was all rather spoiled, however, by the fact that they were singing as if it was extra homework, with all the personal charisma and joie de vivre of charity shop underpants. Watching them I wondered to myself, if they view gigs as such a trial and a hardship, why should they even bother? Wouldn't it be better if they just wrote the songs, and got bands like the first lot to sing them?

And here's my Main Point: isn't it about time we abandoned the hoary old notion that everybody HAS to write their own songs, and that cover versions are fit only for working men's clubs and karaoke machines? I've been to MILLIONS of gigs where the best song played by MILES has been a cover version, and have seen METRIC TONNES of bands with ACE songs that they could never dream of doing justice to themselves, so why should everybody be forced to try to do both?

If only the bands with SONGS could talk to the bands who can PLAY, instead of sitting in separate corners of the pub sneering at each other, then the great songs of INDIE could emerge from the ghetto and the oddly coiffured jazz fiends could get themselves something NEW to play. Together we could build a summer that would never end, where huge choruses stalked the land, fresh fruit and ecological transport was free to all, and jazz solos were but an idle fantasy.

So Hey! THE KIDS! Start talking to each other! And if you need any help, I'll be out the back, scoffing the strawberries.

next>