My Exciting Life in ROCK (part 2): 14/8/2003 - The Windmill, Brixton

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This was the second leg of the AAS fifth birthday celebrations. The first one had been a couple of weeks earlier in Derby when, as mentioned previously, The Frightened Prisoners Of The Kraken stole the hearts of all of Derbyshire with their magnificent brass-led ROCK. It also heavily featured me getting extremely drunk PARTLY because I never had time to get something to eat. Every time a band finished I'd get ready to go then realise that i REALLY liked the next band, so would have to stay. It took me a while to work out that I liked ALL the bands, REALLY a lot - that's why we put their records out. AHA!

The second leg was a smaller affair as it involved transporting everyone down to That London. I was in a bit of a panic about the whole thing for some time beforehand - I don't like promoting gigs AT ALL. You can spend up to a MONTH worrying about it, getting things ready, clearing things with bands, putting up posters, sending out emails, and then STILL nobody might come and it will all be YOUR FAULT. The worst bit is at about 8pm (i.e. an hour before things officially start) when the promoter has to go and stand outside, rubbing his hands, looking PENSIVE. This is VOODOO MAGIC - ALL gig promoters have to do this, or else the GODS OF ROCK will not allow the gig to continue.

I didn't know at the time, but I was right to be slightly worried about attendance as I'd put the wrong date on the press releases! I didn't discover this until a two days later when I got concerned emails from people saying they'd been along the night AFTER it'd all finished. OOPS. Still, the fact that opening band Plans & Apologies a) were young b) had loads of pals and c) were playing one of their first London Gigs meant that they'd been able to bring a COACHLOAD down with them, so an audience was ready supplied. HOOPLA!

The DOWNSIDE of this was that Mr F A Machine had come down with these young tykes and, like many an Older Gentleman On A Coach before him, had been trying to keep up with their drinking. And mostly failing. Francis and I have stood together in ROCK many many times over the years and though we have often played Tiddly (bordering on Squiddly) i don't think I've ever seen him quite as ALARMINGLY drunkened as that night. I was so surprised it took me a while to work out what on earth was going on - WHY did he keep wandering over to other members of the band, mumbling and giggling? How come his basslines were suddenly so... JAZZ? How is it possible to get LOST on the way back from a microphone to your amplifier, three feet away?

The venue itself is GRATE - The Windmill doesn't look much from the outside (and bear in mind, I say this having seen The Hull Adelphi) but inside it's a little bohemian oasis of drunken regulars and BAND STUFF. It also has the best SOUND you'll get i any similar level venue, SHOCKINGLY for how often it's used, and has a real genuine actual windmill just round the corner. I know this because Tim The Gig Booker took me and Tom to look at it. We were amazed - it was like something out of NARNIA, a real-life WINDMILL stood in the middle of a playground in Brixton! ACE!

Brixton did, however, live up to its Reputation in one way. To celebrate our fifth birthday we'd made up GOODIE BAGS for everyone who attended each leg. We'd pressed up a brand new compilation featuring contributions from most of our bands, and packed these into special VALID BAGS along with a selection of free singles and albums. When people arrived in Derby to be presented with these Sacks Of Goodness they were AMAZED. "But this is TONS of stuff!" they said, MARVELLING at, amongst other things, the bright pink heavy vinyl 12" of The Wandrin' Allstars single that was included in most of them, "Are you sure we don't have to pay for this?"

We enjoyed appearing MUNIFICIENT. What people didn't seem to realise what that this was a CUNNING PLAN to clear space in our various LOFTS. Myself, Mr Whitaker and Frankie, who ran the label between us, each had HUNDREDS of copies of old releases at home, with no real hope of ever getting rid of them. Just throwing them away seemed WRONG, so we came up with the plan of the GOODIE BAGS. This way we not only go to look DEAD GENEROUS, we also got to clear some shelves!

It was hilarious, then, in Brixton when we realised that someone was trying to NICK some. A Dodgy Character had slipped in near the front door and seen the huge pile of goody bags laid out for customers. We watched as he gingerly edged towards a bag, before FLEEING when he saw we'd seen him. We were disappointed - we wanted to help him carry them out to his car!

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