My Exciting Life in ROCK (part 2): 15/11/2003 - University of Sheffield Students' Union, Sheffield

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It was a wild and windy night, ill-lit by moonlight, as young Penny strode across the open moors surrounding the small village of Sheffield. She had defied her master, the evil Lord Sheffield, by staging an all-day indie-pop festival, and had been cast out into the night.

As she walked, shivering, towards the snow-capped peak of Mount Sheffield, past even where the last tram dared to trundle after dark, she noticed a cowled figure at the corner of the road, walking towards her. "Why do you weep so my dear?" asked the figure, which appeared to be an old crone, hunched over a stick.

Penny told her tale, and the old witch (for such she was) said "This shall not stand! Together we may be revenged upon his lordship, for 'tis in my gift to appoint the next Entertainments Manager of Sheffield University Students' Union. If it be you, girl, would you swear to stage two all day festivals of indie-pop every year, and to name them after me?"

Penny readily agreed, and woke up next day to find herself endowed with a magical walkie-talkie, access to reams and reams of detachable backstage passes, and a special telephone which allowed her to book as many bands as she wanted. Her new bosses were pleased with her work, especially when she named the festival "Fuzztival", after their regular Fuzz Club event.

Come the day of The Fuzztival, however, shouting was heard outside, as a cowled figure fought herself into the room. "You promised!" she shouted "You promised that you would name it after ME!"

"I'm so sorry, Old Woman Readingandleeds, I completely forgot!" Penny blurted, but it was to no avail. "I CURSE YOU!" screamed the old witch, as she was dragged away by the burly security guards. "Mark my words! From this day hence, EVERY all day festival you organise will feature MJ Hibbett, SUCH is my curse! AHAHAHAAA!"



That's what I THINK must have happened anyway. I can't think of any other reason for Penny, formerly of the pop-a-go-go festival and now of Sheffield University, booking me for EVERY all-dayer she puts on. It defies logic but goodness me I'm happy she does it because they are ALWAYS GRATE. This was the first time I'd gone up to play at the University and I had a LOVELY time.

Part of the loveliness is just down to the location. Sheffield is one of my favourite places in the whole wide world, as it's got JUST the right kind of friendliness about it. Go further South and people become less and less bothered about you until they become practically rude, go further North and everyone's so determined that you should KNOW how extremely friendly they are that it becomes oppressive, but in Sheffield everything is LOVELY. Also: they have TRAMS!

And also also, it must be said, this particular gig ALWAYS pays a bit of money, always gives you your TEA, and most importantly ALWAYS has a crowd of people WELL up for a bit of SINGING ALONG. This first one was no exception, INDEED it pretty much SET the rule for a twice-yearly gig that I CHERISH.

I got the tram back to the railway station and was so full of happiness, also BEER, that I got off at the wrong stop, at which point THREE natives of Sheffield took it in turns to make sure I got back to the station OK on foot. That's what it's like in Sheffield, it's LOVELY!

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