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Blog: Matron!

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Yesterday lunchtime I was in the GYM, dancing on The Dancing Machine (i don't think that's what it's called, but that's what it feels like) and was having my usual shower afterwards. Nothing strange there... until i noticed what appeared to be the baby Alien from out of ALIEN looming from the cubicle next to me. I didn't have my glasses on and, to be frank, was not expecting it, so it took me a couple of seconds to realise that OMG! It was an ERECT PHALLUS! WAFTING ABOUT!

My dears I was SHOCKED! It's a big open shower room and so Dangly Bits are seen Dangling everywhere you look, but the DANGLE LEVEL on this particular item was ZERO. I had never seen the LIKES of such a thing before - and afterwards I realised I had NEVER EVER seen one, outside of one's own MIGHTY MEMBER or, indeed, Medical Textbooks.

I felt like an Elderly Aunt Alarmed By A Bull Elephant, if I'd had a bicycle I would have fallen off it!

In the cold light of day I have regained my composure, though i have to say: Ugh! It wasn't a very nice thing to see at all - maybe PENII are like INFANTS, and there is something in your GENES that make you think other peoples are a bit GRIM, whereas your own is DELIGHTFUL and CHARMING? Or am i just BLESSED?

Also: you don't think it was THE MOUSTACHE that was to blame, do you? I'm aiming for Tom Selleck, but could it be VEARING TERRIFYINGLY towards That Bloke Out Of Frankie Goes To Hollywood? QUICK! To the FERRARI!

posted 11/11/2008 by MJ Hibbett

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Please, tell me this will never form the basis of a song!

BTW, does "Medical Textbooks" include those medical websites, that often include videos, HEM HEM?
posted 11/11/2008 by Dan

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