Songs: At Least It's Christmas

notes / gigs / releases

To think we thought that Brexit
Was as bad as it could get
Then Coronavirus came and said
You ain't seen nothing yet
We all ran out of bog roll
And they shut down all the pubs
And we found that learning Teams
Was no replacement for a hug

But at least it's Christmas
The end is nearly here
At least it's Chrismas
It's been a bloody awful year

Three million were excluded
From the furlough scheme for jobs
A million more are out of work
But Cummings is not
The oligarchs are laughing
As the posh boys wash their cash
And if I look like I am smiling
It's just stitched onto my mask

But at least it's Christmas
God knows we need some festive cheer
At least it's Christmas
And time to bin this rotten year

Santa is self-isolating, he's in a sheltered group
The snowman works from home now, and he only flies on Zoom
The wise men sent the baby Jesus' gifts by DPD
And now we get our moral guidance from the players in the Premier League

But at least it's Christmas
Let's raise a socially distanced glass
At least it's Christmas
Quite soon this year will be the past


We can all learn Spanish next year
We can all learn how to cook
We can all watch the Olympics
Go to gigs and write a book
For now let's pull down 2020
Drag the year across the floor
And chuck it like a slaver's statue
Off the harbour wall

Cos at least its Christmas
I don't know what the future brings
But at least its Christmas
Let's hear the fake football crowd sing

(at least it's Christmas)
No I won't be watching this year's end of year review
I'll be busy buying bog roll for when we leave the EU
And as the church bells ring for Christmas
The nudge unit says Ding Dong
One thing we call can agree on, next year
Nothing can go wrong!

And at least it's Christmas
Let's hope our hopes are just postponed
And at least it's Christmas
And kindly stay within your homes
At least its Christmas
If you invest in dreams
At least its Christmas
Be sure to hold on to the receipts
At least its Christmas
2020 is cancelled!

Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing

When I wrote this in the summer of 2020 it was meant to be recorded by The Validators, but 2020 itself intervened, stopping us from getting anywhere near a rehearsal room or studio, and so I ended up recording it one my own, using my newly discovered powers of MIDI!