Songs: Chester Champion, Legend Of Lancs

notes / gigs / releases

They call me Chester, Chester
I'm not from Leeds or Leicester
I'm not from Bournemouth, Bath or Birmingham (no sir!)
I hear that London's very nice, and I like the Isle Of Wight
But I am Chester Champion, Legend Of Lancs!

Now if the planet is in danger
Call The Total Hero Team
They're marvellously strong and they can fly!
But if they've shut the factory
Or you cat's stuck up a tree
There's only one thing that the folks around hear cry:

They call for Chester, Chester
He's not from Leeds or Leicester
He's not from Bournemouth, Bath or Birmingham (no sir!)
We hear that London's very nice, and we like the Isle Of Wight
But we want Chester Champion, Legend Of Lancs!

He hasn't got the x-ray vision
But he's got a lovely smile
He's cheeky but he's got a heart of gold!

So if your chip pan is a-flame
Go on then, call my name
I'll come round and put it out and make the tea!

They call me Chester, Chester
I'm not from Leeds or Leicester
I'm not from Bournemouth, Bath or Birmingham (no sir!)
I hear that London's very nice, and I like the Isle Of Wight
But I am Chester Champion, Legend Of Lancs!

REPRISE:
I'll buy a domain name
And sort out some server space
I'll write some pages in HTML
I'll knock up a CMS
So when we're asked we can say "Yes"
We've got a webpage and a URL

Google for Chester's, Chester's
We're on the internet sir
You'll see our wine list and our opening times
We've got eight real ales on tap
We've even got an App!
And a facebook fanpage we'd love you to like

Now if you've got a warm nostalgia
For the stars of yesteryear
And you like good company and a pint of beer
Do a search on Google Maps
And you'll see the little flag
Is pointing to a pub that's placed precisely here!

We call it Chester's, Chester's
We often change the guests, sir
We've got a Youtube channel and a blog
When we update twice a week
We will inform you with a tweet
It's all at Chester Champion dot com!

It's all at Chester Champion dot com!

Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing

Chester Champion's theme tune - I envisaged this as being like the George Formby song "The Emperor Of Lancashire" or, rather, like my dim memory of seeing him perform it in a film, with lots of other characters asking questions and joining in with the descriptions, which is why the narration changes from Chester to other people as it goes along. In live performance I always try to do a LOVELY SMILE at the appropriate moment!

The reprise version came about because I needed a song for Tony and Desmond to sing explaining their new plans, and thought a REPRISE would be emotionally fitting. I'm not sure this was necessarily the best song to re-do, but it does do the job. The only real down side was that writing the last line cost me fifty quid to register the domain name. Why not look it up and see what's there?