Songs: We're Old And We're Tired (and we want to go home)

notes / gigs / releases

We turned up at the venue
The promoter said 'Great news guys -
You're headlining so you will be
On stage about midnight'
We groaned with calculation
And in unison realised
That meant we'd not be home until
Four hours past our bedtimes

He saw our faces drop and said
'Oh dear m'ducks, what's wrong?'
The only way we could explain
Was singing him this song:

We said we're old and we're tired and we want to go home
We're old and we're tired and we want to go home
Let me go home - I want to go home
Let me go home - I want to go home

The birthday party was in full swing
When I turned up at eight
I thought 'I'll have a couple of drinks'
'And not get home too late'
But I dillied and I dallied
Until after closing time
And I got swallowed by a mob
As thirty more revellers arrived

The hostess said 'You can't go now'
I said 'I fear I must'
Demanding explanations
I told her it's just because

I am old and I'm tired and I want to go home
I'm old and I'm tired and I want to go home
Let me go home - I want to go home
Let me go home - I want to go home

I'm missing Newsnight for this
I'm missing stacking up the dishes
I'm missing calling in the cat
And I miss my missus

Because when you are proper settled
And happily loved up
You'll find a marked decline in time
You need to spend in pubs

That's when you're old and you're tired and you want to go home
You're old and you're tired and you want to go home
Let me go home - I want to go home
Let me go home - I want to go home

Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing

The idea for this song came in a SHUDDERING FLASH on December 2nd 2007 at a Cleator Moor Validators gig in Sheffield. Earlier in the week I'd been talking to Mr Pete Green, who was promoting the evening, about running times. I'd said that his Draft Schedule appeared to be very TIGHT, especially for a Sunday night. When we arrived he seemed very pleased, and told us all would be well, as music could go on until MIDNIGHT. He was all excited, so was very disappointed to see us all look so GLUM, as each of us' first thoughts had been "We've brought the drumkit, that means we'll be here REALLY late". Later on, whilst watching The Deirdres soundcheck, myself and Mr Tim Pattison ("the human metronome") were discussing how this was a sympton of us being SO VERY OLD, especially in comparison to the aforementioned Deirdres, and the idea to write a SONG about this WALLOPED me like a bag of wet sand. The tune INSTANTLY appeared, and I had to LEAP out of the front door of the venue to ring myself up and record it on my mobile phone.

Writing the song was, after I got the initial idea, PEASY. As I say, I had the words and tunes for the chorus all at once, and worked the rest out over the next day or so. The gig mentioned in the first verse is a COMBINATION of the gig I got the idea at mixed with the time me, Tim and Emma played at The Buffalo Bar and ended up going on around midnight, the second verse is a CONSTANT THEME in my socialising, and the bit about missing Newsnight is a DIRECT STEAL from an idea Tim had had for the cover of our next album. Part of the THRUST to write it was that I needed a couple of candidates to try out as Possible Extra Songs for said album, but I have yet to play it to The Vlads, so who knows?