Songs: You Will Be Hearing From My Solicitor

notes / gigs / releases

You said when i walked out that door
You could not continue to live
But on further investigation
It turns out that's a fib
You said that you would shuffle off this mortal coil
It hasn't happened yet
And like a fool i went and believed
Every stupid word you said

Well, you will be hearing from my solicitor

I'm gonna sue the sorry ass off you
And when i'm through you won't be able to sit down

You said that you would lay down and die
Which you've manifestly failed to do
You said that you would never love again
But it seems that that's not true
And i felt really guilty
I need not have so done
Cos worst of all, you're getting some again
And i am getting none

Well, you will be hearing from my solicitor

I'm gonna sue the sorry ass off you
And when i'm through you won't be able to sit down

Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing

The main thing I remember about this song was getting DEAD EXCITED about the demo version. It was written just after I'd finished the Kazoo II set of demoes, at a time when I was trying to fit not one but TWO choruses into every single song I wrote - it seemed like a Good Idea and it still does, although for this song I can't help feeling it might have been nice to include a bit more verse too. Anyway, I very excitedly recorded the demo version shortly after writing it, and took it along with me to the next AAS Meeting... only to find Mr Whitaker saying he'd "quite" liked the Kazoo II tape, but thought it was all a bit "arsey". Oh dear. I rather DREADED what he would think when he heard this, one of the arsiest songs I have ever allowed out of the house.

He liked it in the end, but opinions WOBBLED when it was heard by other people. I first played it LIVE at the Jug Of Ale in Birmingham, where it seemed to go down quite well with everyone except my brother, who absolutely LOATHED it. When the Validators first played, it the first time we supported Half Man Half Biscuit, it was definitely the song that went down the BEST, even if people did seem to think it was all about DIVORCE, which it isn't.

Still, we all really liked it, and so we made our first trip back to the studio after "Say It With Words" to record it. My main memory of this time is being driven to DISTRACTION by Rob and Tom's complete inability to do Durham Ox Singing - "Just sing it like you're walking home pissed!" I YELLED from the other room, but in the end we had to do "harmonies" before their MUSO BRANES could cope. Over the next 30 MONTHS of recording we would all get used to this New Way Of Working, and indeed it wasn't long before Emma joined the band and these problems disappeared, but at the time I did wonder if I hadn't made a GRAVE MISTAKE in not asking the Durham Ox Singers back in for the SESSIONS.

The song was intended to be the Next Single, and I spent many happy Afternoons At Work doing cover designs and we even went so far as to MASTER it, but enthusiasm WANED. A couple of people, not least the BOARD of AAS, seemed to prefer the "energy" of the demo to the final version (I don't), and I also worried rather about releasing something as a single that I wouldn't really be able to play on my own very well - the second half of the song is pretty much repeats of the choruses, which is all well and ROCK in a Full Band Setting, but feels a bit daft when it's just me and an acoustic guitar.

THUS Easily Impressed came to the front for single release, a Good Thing All Round, and this one had to wait YEARS to fit onto the album. Still, age has not withered it, especially, I RECKON, that MIGHTY guitar solo. I spent WEEKS working that out.